I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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