So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
