I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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