Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
