as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
