grandma shit on top of the toilet
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Randomize
