but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
