I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
