Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Terrible idea I love it
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
