Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
So much Jack, so little girl.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
