So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
