guys are not supposed to queef...right?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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