I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
