I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
