I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize