if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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