ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize