Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
