I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
