I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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