Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
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