There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
