it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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