he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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