I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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