your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Fuck appropriateness.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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