Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize