you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
