I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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