buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
