were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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