we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
