I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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