sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
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