just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize