Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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