he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
