Three words: puerto rican gang bang
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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