I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
