Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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