Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
