When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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