whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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