He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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