Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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