Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
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