it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
