Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
