Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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