i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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