We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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