we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
