Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
