I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
