when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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