You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
