is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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