never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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