The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
