my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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