It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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