Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
The power of my boobs compel you
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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