everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize