Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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