I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
