Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
