I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
