Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
