If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize