I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
