I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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