Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
We were destined to go to rehab together
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
