I just saw a hot homeless man
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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