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omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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