Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
