I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
i out mim tonsoeep
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