i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
