His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize