forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize